Is Social Media Making Us More Anxious? How Counselling in Port Moody, Coquitlam, and Port Coquitlam Can Help.
Over the past decade, researchers, parents, and mental health professionals have been watching an unsettling trend: young people are reporting higher rates of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and self-doubt.
Some experts, like psychologist Jonathan Haidt (author of The Anxious Generation), point to a “great rewiring” of childhood, where social media replaced in-person play, exploration, and face-to-face connection. Others argue that every generation tends to worry about “the youth these days” and that new technologies always inspire fear at first.
For years, it wasn’t entirely clear who was right. But new data has made the debate harder to ignore.
The Personality Shift We Can’t Afford to Ignore
A striking analysis by journalist John Burn-Murdoch looked at personality trends among young people in the past decade. Using the OCEAN framework (Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism), he found troubling shifts:
Conscientiousness – the ability to plan, follow through, and stay organized – has sharply declined.
Extroversion – linked to social connection, life satisfaction, and mental health – has also dropped.
Neuroticism – tied to anxiety, instability, and negative thinking – has spiked.
In short: the very traits that help people thrive are becoming less common, while traits linked to poor outcomes are rising. To put it another way, the average 20-year-old today is less conscientious and more neurotic than 70 percent of all people were just a decade ago.
Although this doesn’t prove social media is the cause, the changes are most pronounced in the age group that spends the most time online. And the decline began before the COVID-19 pandemic, ruling out the idea that lockdowns are the main factor.
More “Connected” Than Ever – Yet More Alone
When the internet first took off, many believed it would bring us closer together, help us meet new friends, and even find love more easily. In practice, the opposite has happened:
Romantic relationships are declining – Fewer young people date or marry compared to past generations.
Sexual activity is decreasing – Many young adults report going a year or more without intimacy.
In-person socializing is plummeting – Young people spend far less time with friends or at social events compared to 20 years ago.
Social media allows us to connect instantly, but it often keeps us in familiar circles or echo chambers, reinforcing tribalism rather than bridging differences. Instead of more meaningful bonds, we get more comparison, self-consciousness, and fear of missing out.
The Mental Health Cost
When conscientiousness drops, everyday responsibilities feel overwhelming.
When extroversion falls, we’re less likely to seek out new friendships or community.
When neuroticism rises, our thoughts and emotions can spiral quickly into worry, irritability, or hopelessness.
It’s not just an abstract problem—these traits directly affect how young people handle relationships, school, work, and even their own self-worth.
How Counselling Can Help
We can’t turn back the clock to a pre-digital world—but we can learn healthier ways to live in the one we have now. At Juniper Counselling, we help people in Port Moody, Coquitlam, and Port Coquitlam find balance in a digital world. Through counselling, you can:
Build emotional resilience – Develop tools to manage anxiety and self-doubt.
Re-learn connection skills – Strengthen real-world communication and relationship habits.
Find balance – Create boundaries with technology to protect mental health.
Shift unhelpful thinking patterns – Reduce the grip of neuroticism and increase confidence.
Counselling isn’t about telling people to “just log off.” It’s about understanding the pressures today’s digital culture creates—and finding ways to navigate them with more clarity, stability, and connection.
If you or someone you love is feeling more isolated or overwhelmed, counselling offers a safe space to talk, reconnect, and learn new ways to thrive—both online and offline.
Final Thoughts
We may not have predicted how social media would change us, but we’re starting to understand the cost. If the online world is shaping us into more anxious, isolated versions of ourselves, it’s worth asking: what can we do to reclaim the parts of life that truly help us thrive?
One powerful answer: reconnecting—with ourselves, with others, and with the skills that make us feel capable and grounded. Counselling can be a bridge back to that kind of life.
