What to Do When You’re Overwhelmed but Still High-Functioning

For people who look “fine” on the outside but feel exhausted on the inside.

In Port Moody, Coquitlam, and the wider Tri-Cities, so many people are juggling demanding careers, families, caregiving roles, community commitments—and still showing up with a smile. On paper, everything looks “fine.”

Inside? Not so much.

This experience has a name: high-functioning overwhelm.

At Juniper Counselling, we see this every day. People who are exhausted, anxious, and overextended, but still performing at a high level because that’s what they’ve always done. This post offers gentle, practical ways to understand and support yourself when you’re holding it all together… but feel like you’re falling apart.


What Is High-Functioning Overwhelm?

It’s a mix of burnout, chronic stress, and emotional fatigue that is masked by productivity. You might be:

  • Keeping up at work but crying in the car

  • Supporting everyone else but not asking for help

  • Feeling “on edge” even during downtime

  • Struggling with sleep or irritability

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself

High-functioning overwhelm doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve been carrying too much, for too long, without enough support.


Why It’s So Hard to Notice (or Admit)

People who are hard-working, responsible, and organized often miss their own warning signs. They’re used to coping alone.

You might hear yourself saying things like:

  • “It’s not that bad.”

  • “I should be grateful.”

  • “Everyone’s busy.”

  • “I just need to get through this next thing.”

But your nervous system is whispering: something needs to change.


Signs You’re Hitting Your Limit

Here are check-in questions we use with clients:

  • Do you feel tired even after resting?

  • Are small tasks feeling harder than usual?

  • Is your patience thinner?

  • Do you feel emotionally numb or disconnected?

  • Are you working through illness or pain instead of slowing down?

  • Are you losing interest in things you used to enjoy?

If you relate to several of these, your system is likely sending clear messages.


Practical Steps to Reduce Overwhelm

1. Make “micro-rest” part of your day

Two minutes of slow breathing, a quick stretch, or stepping outside can reduce cortisol and calm the stress response.

2. Lower the bar—intentionally

This isn’t “giving up.” It’s strategic.
Choose one thing each day to do at 80% instead of 110%.

3. Be honest with someone you trust

Naming what’s happening lifts shame and opens space for support.

4. Build a “bare-minimum care plan”

What are the three things that keep you steady? (Water, nutrition, sunlight, movement, medication, connection—choose yours.)

5. Consider counselling before burnout deepens

Therapy can help you:

  • Set boundaries without guilt

  • Unlearn perfectionism

  • Understand why you carry so much

  • Build nervous-system safety

  • Reconnect with rest

You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to ask for support.

If You’d Like Support

If you’d like to learn more about calming your nervous system or finding steadiness after stress, our counsellors at Juniper Counselling can help. We specialize in trauma-informed and evidence-based approaches that help you reconnect with your own sense of safety, joy, and belonging.

💚 Juniper Counselling Port Moody

We create safe spaces so you can be brave. Book a free consultation now

 

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