At Juniper Counselling, we often speak about compassion as one of our core values — creating spaces where clients feel seen, supported, and safe. But not all compassion is created equal. In fact, there’s a term coined by Tibetan Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa that captures this beautifully: idiot compassion.
While it may sound harsh at first, understanding the difference between idiot compassion and wise compassion can be incredibly empowering — especially when you’re seeking meaningful support in therapy.
What Is Idiot Compassion?
Idiot compassion is what happens when we try to be kind at all costs — even if that kindness avoids the truth, reinforces unhealthy patterns, or delays necessary change. It’s the kind of compassion that says, “I just want you to feel better,” even when feeling better might come at the cost of your growth.
In therapy, idiot compassion might look like:
A therapist always validating your feelings without gently challenging your narratives
Avoiding difficult topics because they might upset you
Letting you stay “comfortable” in ways that actually keep you stuck
While it may feel supportive in the moment, idiot compassion is rooted in avoidance. It’s a short-term soothing strategy that can ultimately prevent deeper healing.
What Is Wise Compassion?
Wise compassion, on the other hand, is grounded in both empathy and truth. It acknowledges your pain while also gently guiding you toward growth. It’s the kind of compassion that says, “I care about you too much to let you stay in this place if you’re ready to move forward.”
Wise compassion in therapy looks like:
Validating your emotions and helping you examine them with curiosity
Naming patterns or behaviours with kindness and clarity
Supporting you through discomfort that leads to insight or change
It’s not about being “tough” for the sake of it — it’s about holding you in warmth while also inviting you into your fullest, most empowered self.
Why Does It Matter?
Because real healing requires more than just feeling good in the moment. It requires honesty, boundaries, and brave conversations. A therapist practicing wise compassion doesn’t rescue you — they walk alongside you, even when the road gets bumpy.
At Juniper Counselling, we believe that therapy is not just about comfort — it’s about transformation. That means we aim to create spaces where clients feel deeply supported and gently challenged. Where kindness and curiosity go hand-in-hand. Where growth is rooted in safety — but not stuck in it.
What to Look for in a Therapist Practicing Wise Compassion
If you’re looking for a therapist who offers more than just validation, here are a few signs to watch for:
They listen closely — and reflect patterns you may not see
They ask thoughtful, sometimes challenging questions that invite reflection
They balance warmth with honesty
They don’t collude with your pain — they help you understand it
Wise compassion isn’t always easy to receive, but it’s one of the greatest gifts a therapist can offer.
Closing Thought
If you’ve ever left therapy feeling seen but not shifted, you might benefit from a counsellor who practices wise compassion. At Juniper, we’re here to help you grow — not just feel better temporarily, but actually build a life that feels authentic, resilient, and whole.
Curious about what that kind of therapy could look like for you?
Let’s talk. Contact us to connect with a therapist who can hold space for your truth — with kindness, clarity, and care.
💚 Juniper Counselling Port Moody
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